My goal is to always be real with y’all. I don’t want my life to appear like it’s some cake walk, filled with roses and butterflies. So here I am, typing this post as I ugly cry & try my best to impersonate Kim Kardashian. Except I’m blowing my nose into Charmin Ultrasoft, and she probably blows her nose into a Hermes hankerchief.
Why am I ugly crying, you ask? Nursing school. My school is an hour and a half from my house. And that sounds pathetic. Especially when I know people who go to school five, even ten, hours away from their home. Now, you know how every freshman cries after their parents leave them in their dorm? I go home every weekend, so every Sunday, when I put my car in reverse and head down the driveway, I cry like that freshman who just got dropped off. And technically, I’m a senior in college.
I always think it’ll get better with each passing semester. And not to be a Debbie downer, but it doesn’t. Now the point of the post isn’t for sympathy or for you to think that I have severely underdeveloped coping skills. The point of this post is to tell all of you young ladies (or men) out there, that it’s okay to Kim K. cry when you leave your parents. It’s okay to miss them terribly. It’s okay to want to spend time with them every weekend. It’s okay NOT to spend the weekend at your apartment an hour and a half away, especially when you just want to be at your home with your parents. Wanting to be at home doesn’t mean you’re any less of a “grown up” than anyone else.
I believe firmly that God is using this season of my life to prune me. If I didn’t know any different, I’d just think that I was an emotional lunatic. But, the Lord has made it abundantly clear to me during the past few semesters that I need Him, every waking moment of every day. Without Him, I am nothing but a wreck without hope; I’m a twenty something year old girl who can’t spread her wings and fly. But the Lord tells me otherwise. While we are supposed to branch from our parents and learn to be independent members of society, we aren’t meant to walk this life alone. This season is for me to learn just how necessary it is that I lean on Christ. He is my crutch. He is my portion, my strength, my Savior, the only reason I’ll be able to live eternally. He is what gets me through the trials of nursing school, the hardships of missing my parents, and the woes of this world. We are broken, but He is whole. He is an all powerful, grace lavishing, mercy abounding, love unsparing Father.
So when you feel like you’re not enough, like you don’t have your life together (which no one does- we are imperfect people), just remember that you are LOVED by the very definition of love Himself. If you’re missing your parents a little extra tonight, just like I am, I want to leave you with this verse:
“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” -1 John 4:18.
Rest in His perfect love tonight. Let that love cast out any fear, any worries, any anxieties that you may have, and just rest in the fact that you are loved. You are cherished. You were created by the maker of the universe, you were worth death. You are a prized possession of Christ, and that is something to celebrate.